today my school marks history

but i was not there

coz i didn’t fucking care

normally if it remotely relates to my interest

or maybe sth a little of media involvement

I WILL BE THERE !!!

this time it’s a fucking national event

with all the media possible…

but no

i was in my bed

sleeping

eating

watching youtube

coz i didn’t care

i didn’t want to do anything

fuck my life

i can change

i can take back control

where was the glory days ??????

fuck

fuck

tears

larmes

please

inertia

why

can’t do anything

Uhm

the world is watching my school today

but i don’t fucking care

last year i would be at the frontline of history

but this year…i don’t even fucking care

don’t even want to be there

i don’t care that today will go down into history books

i think i don’t care about seeing media and all that shit of exploring

all the news stations at my school

no big deal

been there done that type of thing

it’s demystifying after working for a news station

i think after exploring all career paths

my love for movies just intensify

i don’t want to do anything but that

no not related to movies like news

i want movies

and period !

–

why am i so out of touch ?

i don’t care don’t care

about all of this bullshit…

What to do in entertainment ?

Mailroom clerk talent agency
Film production on set?
Film distribution
marketing
or even switch to PR in entertainment
I don’t fucking know anymore
i’m a frustrated person
trying to explore…and get ready for LA
but right now everything is so UP IN THE AIR !!!!!!!!!!!
Arg help…
will i be ok ?
will i make it ?
make it in what…
huhuhuhu i’ve tried so many things..but i always come back to film
but film..is like an impossible industry..
i don’t know…
i have 6 months…!

Diet

Yay for anonymous blog…
I will talk about all issues that I cannot talk about publicly here…
Diet Diet Diet..
All my life…this has been the freaking issue
I’m a size 6…freaking normal for USA but not Asian culture !!!
I get so much abuse …
I hate this
I’m going to visit Asia (lol I will not specify) this winter
And already relatives are bombarding me to lose weight to size 2
But it’s so hard…
I’m freaking out about finishing college
and It’s winter
I need comfort food
I don’t have mental strength right now to drop to size 2
But i need to…if not, i will get chewed up in Asia !!!
Fuck my life !!!
I’m liking this blog…anonymous blogging…haha what i always do best
It’s so good to be able to vent about my problems
because every single day, I need to be positive
stuff away my negative pessimistic side
need to show good energy
build up reputation
for a bright future
but behind the closet
i’m a fucking weak person…
please someone hold me ??????
Urg…life !

Nervous College Kid

Who on earth is not stressed out in this economy?
I’m a senior at a decent 4 year university in California, about to graduate this coming June
I plan to move to LA right after college to pursue a career in film and entertainment
I break down every 2 seconds of my life
I’m stressed out to the max !!!
I think about changing career path and plan every freaking minute
because as graduation comes closer, LA and the entertainment world gets scarier..
I mean in this economy, it’s hard to find any job…LA and entertainment are even harder
Man, I have a crisis every single day
How can I prepare myself to stand out ?
I’m trying to do everything that I can…
but are they enough ????
I’m so frustrated when I meet people who are so relaxed about their future and all…
I wish I can be them
I guess I will use this blog as a form of therapy…
for me to vent..to let my fear..my anger out
Are you a senior/recent graduate or job seeker too ?
Are you fucking scared ?
Join the conversation. Let’s talk. Let’s help each other…
Because seriously right now, I think I want to check into a mental institution…

College Kid who fucking need to relax !